Not going to write ....

I have decided that I will not write, though this blog will stay here, I am stopping to write at least for quite some time.

The third side of the coin......

In a democracy majority wins, in any competition majority loses and only one person/team emerges winner, so in a democracy losers rule, they are the winners.

This blog in its own humorous way has highlighted the idiosyncrasies of IT industry where the fit or misfit of a Mechanical, Chemical or some XYZ engineer was discussed. Everyone knows that most of the jobs in IT industry require customization of an already existing code which requires a group of hard working SEs to slog their weekend off, to meet the targets of ambitious, ineffective marketing guy whose only concern is to meet the target and impress the client so that his stay abroad can get extended by an year or two.

As if the identity crisis of a non computer science back ground engineer is not enough, a demon called appraisal system keeps poking you every six months. Though, an ambiguous engineering degree is nothing but a gate pass for the entry into an IT industry, I guess most guys in IT would agree with me that all you need in this mystic field is a bit of common sense and more honing for the skills you developed through your secondary school education, yes I am talking about cajoling your teacher to get a better mark. If you are yet to hear the word called "Perception" in your appraisal, buddy just go and start licking your manager's boot. It might just work too well for you.

Yeah, I am supposed to talk about the third side of the coin called appraisal system, so let me start. If you have started wondering what has the first two lines of the article got to do with the appraisal, here is it- We do not elect our PLs, TLs or PMs or SPMs etc, they are there because, the system requires them to be. So this is no democracy, a reverse democracy, if I may call it so, where a leader decides his people, a system by the leaders, of the leaders and for the leaders.

Having said that, consider a scenario where a PM has to be ranked, for simplicity lets us consider there are only 2 ranks. The lower the rank, the better. Now there are 4 cases.

Case 1: Ranked 1 in both the cycles, most eligible for all the goodies. Nothing to be talked about.

Case 2: Ranked 2 in last and 1 in this, now the question, don't you think in plain percentage point terms, the case 2 guy deserves better than the case1 guy? A person, for whatsoever the reason, who was ranked 2 has done all the good work and has done well enough to be ranked along with the other 1s, should be a better eligible person for anything than a 1-1, for the simple reason that he is more productive.

Case 3: Ranked 1 in last cycle but 2 in this. Now, the question again, in this leader intensive world, where everything including the location you have to work is business driven, read top down flow, what on earth is this guy's leader doing? Is he laying eggs? if he could not set right or make a previously rank 1 employee to deliver up to the expectations, can he do any business? What I mean to say here is that, every time a rank 1 person fails to deliver, the HR must hold his leader responsible for not being able to put to use a good resource. But this hardly happens.

Case 4: Ranked 2 in both the cycles. Now again, the same question, why could not the leader of this person do something to improve his performance? In this case the onus lies on either the manager to improve the rating or productivity of the person in question or the HR for selecting an incapable guy, in either of the cases, the person who deserves the punishment more is definitely not the person in question.

So that is the third side of the coin, I know this will never be taken care of, because in the corporate world's pseudo caste system, the upper caste has to dominate the lower caste and the oppressed remains oppressed. But, one good thing about this caste system is that no caste is permanent. The time lines for which a person has to spend in a caste may vary from person to person, but no person remains in the same caste for too long.

The Pain I gained......

I reached out for a hand, there is nothing to hold
And it’s another moment of pain spent untold.

My heart, it shouts out in agony
Why it has to realize pain in this way?

Do we really deserve it? You say
Is this really the price I have to pay?

You say “I am stronger than you and it’s easy for me”
it's easy to say that girl, but its hell to be me.

Because, it’s you that I am defenseless against
And you hold the weapons that pierce through me.

You say I am rude, but if you see, it’s just not me,
Because, the whole episode is about you and me.

If punishment is the only way out you see,
I will take it all, Coz I can’t be what I have to be.

I will take it as an expression of love from you
Because, I hear what ever I shouted at you.

Let’s take back our words, and go back to blissful ignorance
And spare me this hell, and kill this deafening silence.

You are hurting me, I know, and it’s on my name.
But, as I said, I would love to take all the blame.

Now, when I look back and see what did I gain?
Its nothing but these odes of pain, sheer pain.

Team Work, a farce?

Team work works! Or does it?

Many of us have been taught in many of our professional training courses the importance of team work behind the success of a project. How team work helps us out of a difficult situation which, otherwise would have been a failure. But the question here is what team work is? Does it work? Rather, when does it work?

A team is nothing but a group of individuals working towards a similar or single goal and they are working towards it because, consciously or unconsciously they know that achieving the team’s goals would help them achieve their goals, say a H1B visa or a role change or a better increment etc.

Now say that we all are playing a game, a game where the primary goal is defined, say a role change. And every one in the team is playing for that. To achieve this goal, we need to do certain things which help others in achieving their goals and since their goals are fulfilled we achieve our’s.

Each of the team members has his /her own strategy, some does good work, others ‘show case’ things to their managers and a few others exploit human weaknesses but each one has his/her own dominant strategy, the strategy might help the wider cause, that is the team’s goal or it might just deceive the whole team that by just pretending that it serving the wider cause.

This is what happens, rather what has been happening in the society since time immemorial and this idea, of farcing the team that you are serving the purpose of the team and hence you should be rewarded by helping you achieve your goal, is good or bad is always a dilemma.

Now let’s say, that we need to play this game say for n times with the same set of players. What happens now is that the mutual knowledge of each other’s strategies exists, previously there was always an element of uncertainty in the mind of at least one player on another because of lack of common knowledge, but now since each is almost cognizant about other’s strategy and this is the point where team work ceases to exist.

The reason for this is that in human society, the concept of rational co-operation exists only if you know less. If the ignorance or uncertainty ceases, the rational co-operation collapses too.

Now, say there exists a team where the individuals are rewarded and the reason behind the rewards does not exist, or a team where there exists no common goal and every one is working towards their personal goals or a team whose team members know each other’s strategies too well do you think any team work exists?

The above mentioned scenarios of different teams constitute at least 70-80% of the teams, every one works for their own motives, we call it selfishness but what I want to conclude is that team work is a farce or at least it would become a farce once we get to know the team better, so why team building exercises and all, let there be a directive, contribute to the company’s growth and help yourselves grow.

How can I bid goodbye ?

You keep saying that it’s the fact,
But it is so hard to believe
That whatever happened is just past,
And that you have to leave.
My heart, how can I say to it
That there is no point to grieve.

When all I could see is you,
In everyone who passes by,
With everything so blue
Without you in my eye,
I hope I could forget you,
And it’s as easy to say bye.

In the busiest of crowds, I am a loner,
In the loneliness left by you.
All that remained of me is a dreamer
Because, it’s in dreams where I could see you.
Ah! They say that the grass on the other side is greener
But to me, with out you every side is blue.


When the parks we walked through
Refuse to recognize me without you
When the love so deep and thorough
Chooses to leave me and go
How to tell you what I am going through
Neither could my wet eyes search you.

And yet, you keep saying that it’s the fact,
But it is so hard to believe,
That whatever happened is just past,
And that you have to leave.
My heart, how can I say to it
That there is no point to grieve.

Am I free?

As a child, I always used to pity each and every tree that I pass by. Reason- it cannot move, it stays at the same place for years together, braving scorchiest of summers, coldest of winters and fiercest of storms, but alas it just cant move and last but not least its not free. Its not free to decide which bird to come and sit on it, its not free to decide who has to pluck its flower or eat its fruit. Its just not free.

And that used to made me think I was special, special because I am free, I am at my will, I always had a choice to protect myself from, the heat of the summers, the cold of the winters and from a lot more brutalities the tree might have to face. I had a choice of choosing whom I want to be with, I used to think, and a choice of eating what I want and a choice to do or not to do a plethora of other things; and here I am, thanks to the society and all the protection from my parents, to think that I am free.

But, am I free, rather was I ever free? When I asked this question to myself and looked back, what I saw was rather a matter of rudest shock. My life was nothing but a web of shackles, which I progress and regress between. When ever I progressed, I did so because I was what others wanted me to be and regressed because I am what I wanted to be, though not always, this has been the trend, and this I guess is the trend with everyone. We grow up thinking that we are free, but the reality is that we never were and we never would be. There is no will of yours in your birth, nor there would be any in your death and all that is between is just a game of probability that we play. And the only difference between tree and us is that we know what is happening to us, where as the tree just stands there irrespective of what happens to it, now I think, how good it would be, if I were ever to have an option, to be a tree when I want to. Standing there, with will and freedom, irrespective of what is happening around me, any severity hardly be able to change me, blossoming to life after each severity, not bothering who is with me and who has left, just being there because I should and doing what I am meant to !

Now that is freedom, ain't it?

When truth becomes a dream....

I know, I cannot forget
But still I loved; now I regret
When the wounds refuse to heal
And my heart refuses to feel
Death says sorry to ignore me
And time refuses to help me
People laugh at me as if I were a clown
Ah! What do they know? I am about to break-down.


I go to bed, I want to sleep, I can’t
Coz it’s just you in my dreams, you hunt and haunt
What is a dream of seconds?
Before a life of decades
But when a dream comes true, you ask how?
When truth becomes a dream, then its love
When truth becomes a dream, then its love!