Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. All characters in the blog are fictitious and any resemblance to any person living or (hopefully) dead is blamed to a word in English dictionary which spells something like coincidence. If you are planning to sue me please contact me, as I do not want to waste money on lawyers.
Present.
Cho is a worried man(? citation needed) now. Not that he was not worried before, but this time he is worried to a worriable extent, he is frustrated, it is as if his heart is pumping frustration into his blood vessels and he is breathing in frustrogen and breathing out frustration dioxide. He was not this frustrated when he lost IIM call in a whisker and not this frustrated when he was unable to convert the NITIE and MDI calls. And he was not even frustrated so much for the fact that he was a Software Engineer, this means that his frustration now has seen new heights.
He picked up his phone and called his another utterly frustrated SE friend, Wangde.
"Abbey, kya hua, sab ready hain kya?"
"Nahin bey, testing chaloo hain, shyam tak ho jayega."
"Joshi(another SE) kahan hain?"
"Joshi stuff lene gaya"
"Aur Seth(he is also SE, are you getting the plot?)?"
"Woh site pey hain, plan finalise kar raha hain."
"Chalo then, teekh 9 baje milte hain"
The phone line went dead.
Past(a few years back):
Cho, Wangde, Joshi, Seth and Ganapatirao Baburao Apte(henceforth called as Apte) are best friends since childhood. Though not born to same biological parents, there was this binding brotherhood among them. They were called as modern Pandavas. They used to compliment each well, support each other, be it in the class room or in the cricket ground.
Years passed by, the friends grew up to be adults. Everyone except for Apte has done well with their education, completed their engineering and became Software Engineers, but Apte was never interested in studies. Everything in this world looked only in 2 shapes for him- A bat and a ball. His dream was to be a cricketer, just a cricketer nothing else. His friends supported his dream, after all they cannot so boldly hold on to their dreams.
But things were tough for person who aspires to be cricketer in India. Getting into the top in the country of minimal resources and maximum number competing for the resources is never easy. And the same is the case with Apte, but thanks to his SE friends they contributed from their salary for their friend's cricketing needs. They bought him a Kashmir willow bat and best in the class cricketing kit.
Days passed by, Apte started getting depressed and more depressed as there was no visible future for him. As his other SE friends hanging around with their girl friends, he used to be just a dumb observer in the group. And the fact that his towering Greek god like figure has been ignored just because he is not settled in life used to just add salt to his wounds.
But one day, he woke up happily from the bed. The reason? Sachin Tendulkar, Sharad Pawar and Sharukh Khan came into his dreams and promised him a good future.
Present:
Pappu, Shah bhai and Muley(more Software engineers) were watching that evening's news. They were horrified to see in the news their friends being locked up in jail for attempting murder on an upcoming cricket star, an IPL member. They were shell shocked. Shah bhai has used his Sherlock Holmes instincts and found out the following story:
The very next day Sachin and others came into Apte's dreams, IPL biddings were announced and Apte was part of IPL. Slowly, he started playing more and more cricket. Lots of money coming in; Apte bought a sports bike, a sports car, an apartment and with all these came free his friends' girl friends, each of Cho, Wangde, Joshi, Seth's girlfriends have ditched them for the kind of riches Apte got into. And realising the things and unable to do anything to their ex girlfriends, and unable to arrange for gundas(remember they are just SE, gundas will be an ultra costly affair) they decided to finish of Apte by themselves, but like their first code their first plan as well was a miserable failure. And they ended up in jail.
Future(a few years later):
Pappu, Shah bhai, Muley (still software engineers :() were watching evening news as usual. The hot looking news reader read out the news, as our three SEs watched with awe.
"Mr Singh, the HRD minister later today has announced the scrapping up of IIMS for lack of people taking the courses, he said that all the 7 IIMs will be demolished and cricket grounds will be built in their places. He has also announced the selection procedure for getting into IPL. He said that admission into IPL will be after a CAT followed by GD and PI and 15 days of net practice. Commenting on the reservation policy in cricket, he said that it was required for better and even development of country".
blick.... channel changed, another news reader read the following news:
"The IT industry conglomeration has given a writ petition to the HRD ministry asking permission to allow non cricket playing, other country Software engineers to work in their companies' campuses in India. This is following the recent closing down of major IT centers of big companies as most of their employees are leaving for playing cricket. The petition has been however declined citing security concerns "
Pappu retired from the room saying that he has to prepare for the CAT. He is too confident about his bowling skills.
Sinha ji, who has gone onsite, UK, for 3 months, 4 years ago, gulped a few more ounces of wine concerned about him going back to India.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
The art of disposing......
If disposing were to be a sport, I am a very bad sports man.
Not that I am a good one, if otherwise; but I am particularly bad at judging what is not necessary for me and hence I just keep clinging to things.
I was lucky enough to realise this tendency of mine when I was in my fifth grade, most probably, when my mom decided to teach me how to be more organised in life. It is a different fact that she has been more close to be a miserable failure, considering the way I live, as if were married to chaos. I don't blame her, as I reckon I am particularly bad at disposing things off.
Now just let me bore you with a few a few reels of flash back, people get ready with your vomit bags as I get ready to take you through my child hood.
"Anil babu, clean your cupboard, its getting nasty day by day"
"Yeah, mom".
I headed towards my cupboard and opened the doors, thud, a few books and even more loose papers fell down just like a lion would come out of its cage. Oops I thought and cursed myself for not putting them properly last time. I sat down with all the energy and conviction of a man who made up his mind. I then laid my hands on a few test papers, the answers to which I had written in the test would have confused otherwise composed teacher to death. I thought of throwing those test papers away, but I decided against it as I want to give them to my sister/junior as I strongly used to believe that my teachers were too lazy to set different set of questions. So, the file containing the loose set of test papers was saved.
The same was the case with my notes, text books, pens, pencil boxes etc. Though my dad was generous enough to heed to all my tantrums of possessing anything my eyes could recognize as a useful thing for me in the market, I never let off my old things and the result- Three trunks full of notes and test papers and pens etc which my mom one day has disposed off in all possible ways ranging from selling stuff off to the old papers boy to distributing the text books to servant maid's kids, of course she did risk a thunder storm reaction from me as I tend to get very disappointed when I lose my stuff and believe me she has done lots to divert me so that I do not constantly pester her why she disposed off things.
I grew up and so did my possessiveness. What used to be just confined to notes and pens has now crept to people. I cannot just dispose of relationships when they don't work. The more the person tries to run away from me the more I try to chase him/her(though this tendency of mine, as I have observed it, is more prevalent with the opposite sex.). Now I wonder, did watching Tom and Jerry so much, had an ill impact on my life. And this tendency of mine has sent chills through many a spine. I have become thorn in the flesh for those people who, I thought, did not understand me.
Now, when I recognize how good a sport disposing is, I look with awe, all the good sports(wo)men who play the game. Anything that does not work, or you think that it does not work or anything that is unnecessary has to be disposed off, and this more importantly should be followed with people if not with things. Because, piled up things just consume space, but piled up feelings/dreams/persons/relationships eat up into you the more you give space to all these things the faster you disappear. So people, dispose- start living.
Not that I am a good one, if otherwise; but I am particularly bad at judging what is not necessary for me and hence I just keep clinging to things.
I was lucky enough to realise this tendency of mine when I was in my fifth grade, most probably, when my mom decided to teach me how to be more organised in life. It is a different fact that she has been more close to be a miserable failure, considering the way I live, as if were married to chaos. I don't blame her, as I reckon I am particularly bad at disposing things off.
Now just let me bore you with a few a few reels of flash back, people get ready with your vomit bags as I get ready to take you through my child hood.
"Anil babu, clean your cupboard, its getting nasty day by day"
"Yeah, mom".
I headed towards my cupboard and opened the doors, thud, a few books and even more loose papers fell down just like a lion would come out of its cage. Oops I thought and cursed myself for not putting them properly last time. I sat down with all the energy and conviction of a man who made up his mind. I then laid my hands on a few test papers, the answers to which I had written in the test would have confused otherwise composed teacher to death. I thought of throwing those test papers away, but I decided against it as I want to give them to my sister/junior as I strongly used to believe that my teachers were too lazy to set different set of questions. So, the file containing the loose set of test papers was saved.
The same was the case with my notes, text books, pens, pencil boxes etc. Though my dad was generous enough to heed to all my tantrums of possessing anything my eyes could recognize as a useful thing for me in the market, I never let off my old things and the result- Three trunks full of notes and test papers and pens etc which my mom one day has disposed off in all possible ways ranging from selling stuff off to the old papers boy to distributing the text books to servant maid's kids, of course she did risk a thunder storm reaction from me as I tend to get very disappointed when I lose my stuff and believe me she has done lots to divert me so that I do not constantly pester her why she disposed off things.
I grew up and so did my possessiveness. What used to be just confined to notes and pens has now crept to people. I cannot just dispose of relationships when they don't work. The more the person tries to run away from me the more I try to chase him/her(though this tendency of mine, as I have observed it, is more prevalent with the opposite sex.). Now I wonder, did watching Tom and Jerry so much, had an ill impact on my life. And this tendency of mine has sent chills through many a spine. I have become thorn in the flesh for those people who, I thought, did not understand me.
Now, when I recognize how good a sport disposing is, I look with awe, all the good sports(wo)men who play the game. Anything that does not work, or you think that it does not work or anything that is unnecessary has to be disposed off, and this more importantly should be followed with people if not with things. Because, piled up things just consume space, but piled up feelings/dreams/persons/relationships eat up into you the more you give space to all these things the faster you disappear. So people, dispose- start living.
MTV Roadies
I have always been an ardent follower of the reality show MTV Roadies. Considering the kind of Biker I am, I virtually used to put myself in the Roadies there, and used to think what would I do, if I were to be there. And believe me, I used to just love the show, notwithstanding the iota of doubt about the genuinity of the show on a few occassions, which has integrated itself indefinitely into a full fledged doubt.
Roadies 5.0's auditons have started recently and I happened to watch the Chandigarh and Delhi auditions. I was in for a rude shock, if not anything else. Nikhil's and Raghu's values seemed to have become radioactive and they are disintegrating with half life of 3 dog days. These two have choicest things to call about the contestant's mother, siblings (you know what I mean!). A few of the contestants who came there acted in such way that their behaviour deviated by infinity from that of an average humanoid's.
Attention seeking syndrome has itself got into an attention seeking syndrome when a few of the girls who claimed that they are mentally ill (if they knew it why dont they just consult a psychiartist, instead of coming to the show?) and that they do anything to seek attention. MTV should understand that their channel is watched by all age groups and this unecessary portrayal of psychic disorder will have an ill impact on the adoloscents watching the show. The delibarate use of the F word has put many a Martin Scorcese's films to shame and the irony is that these movies are certified as suitable for certain audience only, unlike MTV which airs the show at a prime time and shamelessly beaming the message, asking the viewers to visit their website for uncensored version! Ridiculous and sad.
All in all, the show is no more a reality. The contestants are not seeming any real. These people are bunch of useless scumbags, just acting their way off cheating us. As such, there is nothing called reality TV. It is bogus to make money for sponsorers. And to me all those ardent followers of reality TV look like chicken reared for butchering. And, now you think, should we still be wasting our time watching these shows?
Roadies 5.0's auditons have started recently and I happened to watch the Chandigarh and Delhi auditions. I was in for a rude shock, if not anything else. Nikhil's and Raghu's values seemed to have become radioactive and they are disintegrating with half life of 3 dog days. These two have choicest things to call about the contestant's mother, siblings (you know what I mean!). A few of the contestants who came there acted in such way that their behaviour deviated by infinity from that of an average humanoid's.
Attention seeking syndrome has itself got into an attention seeking syndrome when a few of the girls who claimed that they are mentally ill (if they knew it why dont they just consult a psychiartist, instead of coming to the show?) and that they do anything to seek attention. MTV should understand that their channel is watched by all age groups and this unecessary portrayal of psychic disorder will have an ill impact on the adoloscents watching the show. The delibarate use of the F word has put many a Martin Scorcese's films to shame and the irony is that these movies are certified as suitable for certain audience only, unlike MTV which airs the show at a prime time and shamelessly beaming the message, asking the viewers to visit their website for uncensored version! Ridiculous and sad.
All in all, the show is no more a reality. The contestants are not seeming any real. These people are bunch of useless scumbags, just acting their way off cheating us. As such, there is nothing called reality TV. It is bogus to make money for sponsorers. And to me all those ardent followers of reality TV look like chicken reared for butchering. And, now you think, should we still be wasting our time watching these shows?
Thursday, January 17, 2008
The other me........
Enough is enough, or is it not enough?
How many times, when you plucked the innermost strings of your heart, did you encounter the questions which you never wanted to answer, answers which you never wanted to accept, thoughts that were never expressed, and dreams that were sleeping eternally?
How many times, when you felt like looking back at the way you just walked through, and when you did, all you saw was a big deep trench, or rather a bridge under fire catching up with you faster than you could ever run?
How many times did you feel like shouting at your top of the lungs, LIFE SUCKS?
And when this happens, you introspect, you put yourself under microscope and so did I. I tried to rediscover myself like lion licking on its wounds. And when I did, I found that I am no less than a magnet which has two poles. And the two poles for me are- Pain and Pride (?). And I act no less than a magnet too. The emotions that come out of my pain are streamlined by my pride and vice-versa. But what I am not able to find out is the cause and effect relationship between these two; is my pain causing the pride in me or is it the pride causing the pain in me, whatsoever it is, of late, my pride has been forced to work overtime to streamline the wreck caused by my pain.
My pain craved for insignificant appreciation, my pride shooed that off. My pain wanted a pat on my back, my pride laughed at me. My pain looked for someone/something to blame for my failures, my pride choked. And when my pain shouted that it needed success, my pride listened.
Success is something that which allures a fancy lot. It is either success, or lack of it that drives the mankind. It provokes you, instigates you, frustrates you, makes you introspect and the final result lies there. When you introspect you will find out that; who you are was always your choice, irrespective of the path set, because you chose to follow the path, right or wrong, suitable or unsuitable, rational or irrational, you at your bottom most layer of your heart know that the choice of what you are going to be was unforgivably yours. And when you realize this, you tend to change everything that was you, your dreams will be erased and new dreams in accordance to the traveling salesman problem are formed, marooned by the failures, you tend to get into the available option and when you do this, my friend, you are a failure; one among million others who think exactly like you.
Success does not come out of talent; nothing is more common than unsuccessful talent. It does not come out of genius either, unrecognized genius is a almost a proverb and if you think it comes out of education, the world is full of educated delirious people. There is only one thing that is omnipotent in the world of success-Perseverance; and believe me, luck is girl friend of perseverance.
Dream, persevere, achieve.
This is my promise to myself, I hope I could and I hope I taste success.
How many times, when you plucked the innermost strings of your heart, did you encounter the questions which you never wanted to answer, answers which you never wanted to accept, thoughts that were never expressed, and dreams that were sleeping eternally?
How many times, when you felt like looking back at the way you just walked through, and when you did, all you saw was a big deep trench, or rather a bridge under fire catching up with you faster than you could ever run?
How many times did you feel like shouting at your top of the lungs, LIFE SUCKS?
And when this happens, you introspect, you put yourself under microscope and so did I. I tried to rediscover myself like lion licking on its wounds. And when I did, I found that I am no less than a magnet which has two poles. And the two poles for me are- Pain and Pride (?). And I act no less than a magnet too. The emotions that come out of my pain are streamlined by my pride and vice-versa. But what I am not able to find out is the cause and effect relationship between these two; is my pain causing the pride in me or is it the pride causing the pain in me, whatsoever it is, of late, my pride has been forced to work overtime to streamline the wreck caused by my pain.
My pain craved for insignificant appreciation, my pride shooed that off. My pain wanted a pat on my back, my pride laughed at me. My pain looked for someone/something to blame for my failures, my pride choked. And when my pain shouted that it needed success, my pride listened.
Success is something that which allures a fancy lot. It is either success, or lack of it that drives the mankind. It provokes you, instigates you, frustrates you, makes you introspect and the final result lies there. When you introspect you will find out that; who you are was always your choice, irrespective of the path set, because you chose to follow the path, right or wrong, suitable or unsuitable, rational or irrational, you at your bottom most layer of your heart know that the choice of what you are going to be was unforgivably yours. And when you realize this, you tend to change everything that was you, your dreams will be erased and new dreams in accordance to the traveling salesman problem are formed, marooned by the failures, you tend to get into the available option and when you do this, my friend, you are a failure; one among million others who think exactly like you.
Success does not come out of talent; nothing is more common than unsuccessful talent. It does not come out of genius either, unrecognized genius is a almost a proverb and if you think it comes out of education, the world is full of educated delirious people. There is only one thing that is omnipotent in the world of success-Perseverance; and believe me, luck is girl friend of perseverance.
Dream, persevere, achieve.
This is my promise to myself, I hope I could and I hope I taste success.
Gyan....
“A reasonable man adapts himself to suit his environment. An unreasonable man persists in attempting to adapt his environment to suit himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.”-George Bernard Shaw
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Friday, January 11, 2008
Na na....no no....NANO
Shit happens, is what I always believed. It does happen of course, but there are other beautiful things that happen as well, like Nano. I was always excited about the 1 lakh car, right from the inception of idea and flabbergasted by the perfection is the least what I can say when I saw the launch.
The 624 cc, rear wheel drive 2-cylinder gasoline engine, delivers a staggering mileage of 4.55L/100km in city and around 3.85L/100km on the highway, an average Indian bike consumes 1.5 to 2 L for 100 km. Having said that, the per capita mileage for the Nano is comparable rather is at par with the most 2 wheelers in India; and is way above the industry average of 7-9L/100km. The car confirms to Bharat Stage III and the stringent Euro-IV standards. Shouldn't this just shut-up the publicity crazy, pain in the neck, Sunita Narain and the green peace?
No, it didn't. Shit happens, you know? I understand the concerns of choking road infrastructure risen by the upper middle class/rich Indians and all due respects to concern of global warming and increase in carbon foot print of India. But, my dear stupid protesters out-side the moto expo, trying to stop the car from production/ taxing the car to hell is not the solution to the concerns raised.
It is a sheer economic bigotry to tax the car because more people could buy it. Ridiculous you hypocrites, why shall not a typical middle class Indian dream of buying a car? The argument is as stupid as asking Reliance to stop selling phones because it is causing network congestion, I shall use anything else than my mouth to laugh at this.
And, it is shame on part of green peace to protest the launch of world's one of the least polluting and most efficient car. If you were ever to be serious, protest the sale of all the SUVs in Europe and USA. At least try and make an average human more environment conscious rather than wasting your time on all this non-sense activity. India's per capita emissions are far less than the Western average, it does not mean that we shall be irresponsible, but that does not either mean that we shall not develop.
Though Nano's services are out of reach for more than 50% of Indians, Tatas have done an excellent job. I am not sure how much heavier the Tatas pockets become because of Nano but it would be a revolution of sorts for automobile industry and there is no reason that shall deter me from calling Tata the Indian Henry Ford; rather call Henry Ford as an American Tata.
The 624 cc, rear wheel drive 2-cylinder gasoline engine, delivers a staggering mileage of 4.55L/100km in city and around 3.85L/100km on the highway, an average Indian bike consumes 1.5 to 2 L for 100 km. Having said that, the per capita mileage for the Nano is comparable rather is at par with the most 2 wheelers in India; and is way above the industry average of 7-9L/100km. The car confirms to Bharat Stage III and the stringent Euro-IV standards. Shouldn't this just shut-up the publicity crazy, pain in the neck, Sunita Narain and the green peace?
No, it didn't. Shit happens, you know? I understand the concerns of choking road infrastructure risen by the upper middle class/rich Indians and all due respects to concern of global warming and increase in carbon foot print of India. But, my dear stupid protesters out-side the moto expo, trying to stop the car from production/ taxing the car to hell is not the solution to the concerns raised.
It is a sheer economic bigotry to tax the car because more people could buy it. Ridiculous you hypocrites, why shall not a typical middle class Indian dream of buying a car? The argument is as stupid as asking Reliance to stop selling phones because it is causing network congestion, I shall use anything else than my mouth to laugh at this.
And, it is shame on part of green peace to protest the launch of world's one of the least polluting and most efficient car. If you were ever to be serious, protest the sale of all the SUVs in Europe and USA. At least try and make an average human more environment conscious rather than wasting your time on all this non-sense activity. India's per capita emissions are far less than the Western average, it does not mean that we shall be irresponsible, but that does not either mean that we shall not develop.
Though Nano's services are out of reach for more than 50% of Indians, Tatas have done an excellent job. I am not sure how much heavier the Tatas pockets become because of Nano but it would be a revolution of sorts for automobile industry and there is no reason that shall deter me from calling Tata the Indian Henry Ford; rather call Henry Ford as an American Tata.
Friday, January 4, 2008
The alarming rise of SEs.
If you were ever be able to think, there is hardly anything more disturbing than the fact that we are becoming into a small nation of Software engineers. Finding a SE engineer a few years ago is like finding a gold mine, but now it is as simple as finding a general store. Go to any cross road in Pune and throw a stone, the probability that it hits a SE is more than that of Australia winning a cricket match.
It is an exciting fact that there is lots of money involved and software companies making more money by making its people sitting on bench; and many a young man, who if were to born a few years before would be living on a crest of Paav, is now spending his weekends in one of the multiplexes or discos. This obviously has a marked effect on our community. Our children grow up to adolescence with a feeling that they can become SE instead of working. Many an embryo scientist has been ruined by the thought that a SE makes lots of money. Lots of promising young microbiologists and talented physics lecturers are giving up their steady jobs to become a SE. Each day, almost all the roads’ progress in Pune is positively impeded by swarm of SE heading for their offices. It is horrible to see these young men, who otherwise would be happily doing some research in a lab or teaching someone in their class, smothering themselves, with their fingers in the hair and features distorted, trying to code in something.
If this were not to be enough, the rise in number of engineering colleges is adding fuel to the fire. It is too early to judge the effects, but one thing for sure it has taken the lid off and unleashed the forces on which no one can ever take control. All those restrictions on the requirements for the job of SE have vanished, now every one is an Engineer. And one more exciting feature for SE is bench; the very idea of earning without doing anything is exciting. And Software companies earning on bench strength is even more exciting.
Until this concept has come, there is one thing which stood like a mountain in the way of a tsunami wave. When one’s son comes and ask “Dad, I want to become a SE”, instead of searching for breath you can always scare him off; “What about the hard work you have to put in son? You will be trained in J2EE and will be asked to work in .NET, there will be no time for your family, no girls, nothing”.
The next day a new maths lecturer is born.
But now, things changed. There is lots of time for everything, you can always be on training and there is no utter necessity to be on production, you can earn lakhs and lakhs without having to do anything, and girls are a bonus.
Who can say where this thing will end? Engineering seat is with in reach for many. A sleeping nation has wakened to the realization that there is money to be made out of rewriting the same code again and again. Something must be done shortly if the nation is to be saved from this menace. Probably the only hope lies in the fact that SEs never buy other SEs stuff, they will download it from net, hack it, but nay, never buy it. When once we have all become SEs, the sale of all software ceases. And that day, we do not need to code.
-AKP,
P.S: This essay is inspired by PG Wodehouse's sarcasm.
It is an exciting fact that there is lots of money involved and software companies making more money by making its people sitting on bench; and many a young man, who if were to born a few years before would be living on a crest of Paav, is now spending his weekends in one of the multiplexes or discos. This obviously has a marked effect on our community. Our children grow up to adolescence with a feeling that they can become SE instead of working. Many an embryo scientist has been ruined by the thought that a SE makes lots of money. Lots of promising young microbiologists and talented physics lecturers are giving up their steady jobs to become a SE. Each day, almost all the roads’ progress in Pune is positively impeded by swarm of SE heading for their offices. It is horrible to see these young men, who otherwise would be happily doing some research in a lab or teaching someone in their class, smothering themselves, with their fingers in the hair and features distorted, trying to code in something.
If this were not to be enough, the rise in number of engineering colleges is adding fuel to the fire. It is too early to judge the effects, but one thing for sure it has taken the lid off and unleashed the forces on which no one can ever take control. All those restrictions on the requirements for the job of SE have vanished, now every one is an Engineer. And one more exciting feature for SE is bench; the very idea of earning without doing anything is exciting. And Software companies earning on bench strength is even more exciting.
Until this concept has come, there is one thing which stood like a mountain in the way of a tsunami wave. When one’s son comes and ask “Dad, I want to become a SE”, instead of searching for breath you can always scare him off; “What about the hard work you have to put in son? You will be trained in J2EE and will be asked to work in .NET, there will be no time for your family, no girls, nothing”.
The next day a new maths lecturer is born.
But now, things changed. There is lots of time for everything, you can always be on training and there is no utter necessity to be on production, you can earn lakhs and lakhs without having to do anything, and girls are a bonus.
Who can say where this thing will end? Engineering seat is with in reach for many. A sleeping nation has wakened to the realization that there is money to be made out of rewriting the same code again and again. Something must be done shortly if the nation is to be saved from this menace. Probably the only hope lies in the fact that SEs never buy other SEs stuff, they will download it from net, hack it, but nay, never buy it. When once we have all become SEs, the sale of all software ceases. And that day, we do not need to code.
-AKP,
P.S: This essay is inspired by PG Wodehouse's sarcasm.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
The hacking of Steve Bucknor..........
Adam Lee, woke up from his bed with a heavy heart. It was a bright sunny day in Melbourne and an average Australian should be heading to the nearest beach and should be planning to spend the rest of his day having beer; but Adam was too morose to do that. Thanks to the Indian IT industry, Adam got a pink slip yesterday and he is in no mood to celebrate. He had head full of anger and chest full of pain. His blood boiled and all his nerves started shouting in chorus "REVENGE". He has to pay back India for this.
He, like any other software engineer, started off with Internet. He has seen the population map of India, it along with China are shining in bright red. It would take a few hundred Hitlers to culminate the race called Indians, he gave up the idea. He then considered terrorism, but what the heck, Indians hardly care, there are scores and scores of terrorist groups trying to prove their point and failing miserably and it is a high risk activity for a SE like him, he loathed himself for the fool he is. How now? How to hit Indians where it hurts them the most? And from no where a book fell on his head. It read "The in and out of Occult Sciences" now he knows what he has to do. He booked his next flight to Africa.
A few years later.......
Steve Bucknor is at the end of his career. He is an umpire for a boring game called cricket, which Indians consider as a religion. Steve has seen the peak of his career and is considered one of the best umpires in the business.
It is business as usual for Steve today. There is India- Australia tie today and he is one of the umpires. He woke up and headed towards the loo. He looked at himself in the glass, he was horrified to see that his hair turned blond. He also started feeling a weird kinship towards Kangaroos. He did not quite understand what went on. He ordered for a black hair dye, done what was necessary and headed for the match.
Steve was surprised for what he was on the pitch that day. He did not feel like giving any decision against Australians. It was as if each Australian batsmen was his boy friend, He also felt like kicking every Indian ass in and around the ground. He enjoyed seeing each Indian bowler getting frustrated when he ruled out their appeals. He is getting some sense of sadistic pleasure out of the whole business.
At the end of the first day of the match, Steve had his usual chat with his fellow umpires of the match and was surprised to know that even they felt they same as he did, it was as if they have taken into control by someone to support Australia. Adam Lee, sitting at another table near by smiled naughtily. He headed back to his apartment.
As soon as Adam reached his apartment, he headed for Internet. He was very happy with the way things have turned out for him. He enjoyed the way Indian media cried fowl about the umpires, he enjoyed seeing the whole lot of cricket frenzy Indians getting frustrated, especially the Software engineers, he hated them you know? He now is a happy man, he is content and thanked his African guru for teaching how to take control of one's mind through occult sciences. He smiled at his success and gone to bed. After all, the next morning he has to wake up early and head to the nearest beach to have beer for the whole day.
He, like any other software engineer, started off with Internet. He has seen the population map of India, it along with China are shining in bright red. It would take a few hundred Hitlers to culminate the race called Indians, he gave up the idea. He then considered terrorism, but what the heck, Indians hardly care, there are scores and scores of terrorist groups trying to prove their point and failing miserably and it is a high risk activity for a SE like him, he loathed himself for the fool he is. How now? How to hit Indians where it hurts them the most? And from no where a book fell on his head. It read "The in and out of Occult Sciences" now he knows what he has to do. He booked his next flight to Africa.
A few years later.......
Steve Bucknor is at the end of his career. He is an umpire for a boring game called cricket, which Indians consider as a religion. Steve has seen the peak of his career and is considered one of the best umpires in the business.
It is business as usual for Steve today. There is India- Australia tie today and he is one of the umpires. He woke up and headed towards the loo. He looked at himself in the glass, he was horrified to see that his hair turned blond. He also started feeling a weird kinship towards Kangaroos. He did not quite understand what went on. He ordered for a black hair dye, done what was necessary and headed for the match.
Steve was surprised for what he was on the pitch that day. He did not feel like giving any decision against Australians. It was as if each Australian batsmen was his boy friend, He also felt like kicking every Indian ass in and around the ground. He enjoyed seeing each Indian bowler getting frustrated when he ruled out their appeals. He is getting some sense of sadistic pleasure out of the whole business.
At the end of the first day of the match, Steve had his usual chat with his fellow umpires of the match and was surprised to know that even they felt they same as he did, it was as if they have taken into control by someone to support Australia. Adam Lee, sitting at another table near by smiled naughtily. He headed back to his apartment.
As soon as Adam reached his apartment, he headed for Internet. He was very happy with the way things have turned out for him. He enjoyed the way Indian media cried fowl about the umpires, he enjoyed seeing the whole lot of cricket frenzy Indians getting frustrated, especially the Software engineers, he hated them you know? He now is a happy man, he is content and thanked his African guru for teaching how to take control of one's mind through occult sciences. He smiled at his success and gone to bed. After all, the next morning he has to wake up early and head to the nearest beach to have beer for the whole day.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Gyan....
One good thing about the teleconfernces is that you can yawn at any point of time and it hardly effects the speaker.......
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
A southern hope......
Are you a south Indian? Is the most general question I face when I get to meet new people. I would have taken the question with much ease, if it were not to be the quizzical look on most of the faces that ask the question. The quiz part is that, I am a fair, tall guy and I shave my moustache. So, what they mean to say is that my appearance did not match with the general presumption of how a south Indian looks. Oh! what a hypocrite bunch we Indians are, who talk about national integration, equality etc. but have so many disparities on whose basis we discriminate and cover it up calling it unity in diversity.
I personally hate the concept of North/South India, I always believed and will always believe that I am an Indian than anything else, but there are more people around me who are interested in the latitude and longitude of the place I am born in and want to attribute me to a race. So, let me not hurt them. Hello people, yes I am a south Indian.
I was brought up, like many other Indian kids, listening to the epic stories of North Indian kings seeking the help of monkeys in south India to kill a demon who lives further south. I also heard of the stories where the gods, by a striking coincidence are always from North and reside in Himalayas and the "asuras" they kill are from south India. But I am also aware of history of a land whose main festival is based on a legend king who is considered to be a demon by others.
Having said that, I made my point, if you ever were to believe me, that most of the Indian epics are skewed/biased versions of history. What is history after all? the story of powerful men conquering land?And if you were ever to read Srilankan folk tales, you will completely hear a different Ramayana. And this bias, because of quintessential human nature has been carried forward and it is a matter of shame that it still exists.
Past is past, now let me give an account of future for south India. Not that I am a south Indian, but this I feel is something inevitable given the liberal economic policies taken by the emerging India.
I hope that in next 25 years there will be a considerable change in demographic situation of India. The strong macro economies of states like Andra Pradesh, Tamil Nadu, Maharashtra, Gujarat would continue to grow contributing significantly to India's magical GDP figure 10%. South India would become a cultural and industrial hub. There would be more literacy and population would saturate and poverty would be eradicated. If you doubt this just check out the sales reports of FMCG and consumer electronics sector of India, south's buying power has significantly increased and it contributes to about 60% of sales. The per capita Income of south is 60% more than that of north, south also leads in literacy, per capita expenditure on public health and number of house holds with electricity.
But this is a no good reason for a demographic change, when I said demographic change there is a homogenisation of Indian population there shall be no concentrated cultures fighting for their existence. For this to happen there shall be a whole lot of Indians from North, East, West seeing South as their destination for livelihood. How would this happen?
I see this happening, if not in near future, at least in next 25-30 years. North continues to grow in population as the miners from Bihar and other workers from North east continue to flock Delhi. Delhi in no time would become largest urban conglomeration eating up into Noida and Gurgaon. But few things grew apart from the population. There were more people and lesser jobs and hence the pay was pretty less and only a fool would over look the growing economy that is south. More and more people would realise the better pay scales in South and start migrating, there will be equal number of Biharis, Jharkandis wanting to go to south as there are who want to go to other cities in north. More and more people from Nagaland and Mizoram try finding some livelihood in South and this is what I say a cultural dilution of high proportion. India would then be a more homogeneous place, problems of cultural differences notwithstanding.
Seeing this as a right opportunity, some frenzy would pester the central government to make Telugu as the national language and will be almost successful in passing the bill. Deja-vu?
-AKP
I personally hate the concept of North/South India, I always believed and will always believe that I am an Indian than anything else, but there are more people around me who are interested in the latitude and longitude of the place I am born in and want to attribute me to a race. So, let me not hurt them. Hello people, yes I am a south Indian.
I was brought up, like many other Indian kids, listening to the epic stories of North Indian kings seeking the help of monkeys in south India to kill a demon who lives further south. I also heard of the stories where the gods, by a striking coincidence are always from North and reside in Himalayas and the "asuras" they kill are from south India. But I am also aware of history of a land whose main festival is based on a legend king who is considered to be a demon by others.
Having said that, I made my point, if you ever were to believe me, that most of the Indian epics are skewed/biased versions of history. What is history after all? the story of powerful men conquering land?And if you were ever to read Srilankan folk tales, you will completely hear a different Ramayana. And this bias, because of quintessential human nature has been carried forward and it is a matter of shame that it still exists.
Past is past, now let me give an account of future for south India. Not that I am a south Indian, but this I feel is something inevitable given the liberal economic policies taken by the emerging India.
I hope that in next 25 years there will be a considerable change in demographic situation of India. The strong macro economies of states like Andra Pradesh, Tamil Nadu, Maharashtra, Gujarat would continue to grow contributing significantly to India's magical GDP figure 10%. South India would become a cultural and industrial hub. There would be more literacy and population would saturate and poverty would be eradicated. If you doubt this just check out the sales reports of FMCG and consumer electronics sector of India, south's buying power has significantly increased and it contributes to about 60% of sales. The per capita Income of south is 60% more than that of north, south also leads in literacy, per capita expenditure on public health and number of house holds with electricity.
But this is a no good reason for a demographic change, when I said demographic change there is a homogenisation of Indian population there shall be no concentrated cultures fighting for their existence. For this to happen there shall be a whole lot of Indians from North, East, West seeing South as their destination for livelihood. How would this happen?
I see this happening, if not in near future, at least in next 25-30 years. North continues to grow in population as the miners from Bihar and other workers from North east continue to flock Delhi. Delhi in no time would become largest urban conglomeration eating up into Noida and Gurgaon. But few things grew apart from the population. There were more people and lesser jobs and hence the pay was pretty less and only a fool would over look the growing economy that is south. More and more people would realise the better pay scales in South and start migrating, there will be equal number of Biharis, Jharkandis wanting to go to south as there are who want to go to other cities in north. More and more people from Nagaland and Mizoram try finding some livelihood in South and this is what I say a cultural dilution of high proportion. India would then be a more homogeneous place, problems of cultural differences notwithstanding.
Seeing this as a right opportunity, some frenzy would pester the central government to make Telugu as the national language and will be almost successful in passing the bill. Deja-vu?
-AKP
A happy new year........
It has been just 12 hours that I bid good bye to an old year and now, I am here, back to my normal self, indulging myself in my favorite pass time or shall I call it my full time job?
Me like billion others would like to clear the dust of the old year, leave back the bad times and bank on the good ones and move forward. Now let me put my cynicism in the back seat and talk a few good things.
New is always exciting, it brings in you a fresh energy, a hope that things would be different from the old, a hope that fosters on change, a hope that everything changes and nothing is permanent, a hope to see more beautiful things that the life has in bag for us, a hope that we can see more colors of everything and a hope to hope for more.
The concept of a new year always excites me, right from the days where we used to help our elders in those colorful rangolis shouting aloud HAPPY NEW YEAR, to those midnight parties in the hostel with your best buddies banging your head to your favorite rock song, to those solace celebrations where you have all the time for yourself, indulging with yourself with your music system shouting out at its maximum, your favorite song. But whatsoever, I still relish my college days where new year was a great occasion, the way we used to go on for shopping for buying gifts and cards for our loved ones, the we used to eagerly wait for the first morning to give away the gifts and cards to the loved ones and waiting to see how they respond to the message we had written.
I seriously do not know how to conclude this, I do not have anything more to write as I am completely taken over by another idea for my new blog. All I want to say is that hope is not bad bad, in fact hope is one of the good things and no good thing ever dies. Saying so and hoping for the best, I wish every one a very happy new year.
Me like billion others would like to clear the dust of the old year, leave back the bad times and bank on the good ones and move forward. Now let me put my cynicism in the back seat and talk a few good things.
New is always exciting, it brings in you a fresh energy, a hope that things would be different from the old, a hope that fosters on change, a hope that everything changes and nothing is permanent, a hope to see more beautiful things that the life has in bag for us, a hope that we can see more colors of everything and a hope to hope for more.
The concept of a new year always excites me, right from the days where we used to help our elders in those colorful rangolis shouting aloud HAPPY NEW YEAR, to those midnight parties in the hostel with your best buddies banging your head to your favorite rock song, to those solace celebrations where you have all the time for yourself, indulging with yourself with your music system shouting out at its maximum, your favorite song. But whatsoever, I still relish my college days where new year was a great occasion, the way we used to go on for shopping for buying gifts and cards for our loved ones, the we used to eagerly wait for the first morning to give away the gifts and cards to the loved ones and waiting to see how they respond to the message we had written.
I seriously do not know how to conclude this, I do not have anything more to write as I am completely taken over by another idea for my new blog. All I want to say is that hope is not bad bad, in fact hope is one of the good things and no good thing ever dies. Saying so and hoping for the best, I wish every one a very happy new year.
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