Washing clothes?

Disclaimer: Yours truly makes his best attempt to wear washed clothes, though the chances of seeing him in pair of crumbled trousers and crushed anti wrinkle shirts is pretty high, you can in all possibilities safely assume that the clothes are washed.

If I were to be given a chance to decide among a promotion, a beautiful girlfriend and a genie that washes clothes, I would choose the genie. The very imagination of an alien looking creature with a tail on its back and a horn on its head washing my clothes is thrilling, exotic, romantic and what not?

Considering the fact that there are around three hundred thousand CAT aspirants, I would not make an attempt to introduce this article to you, because logic would say that this article is about a music Video on MTV (you might have guessed my CAT score by now).

Coming back to the topic, washing if it ever were to be called an art, I would have been light years away from being called as an artist and I would have ardently worshipped all the dhobis in this world. Washing is not an art nor am I interested in washing, but my tryst with washing or rather not doing it has seen new highs of late.

An average humanoid blind folded and sent into my 3 bhk flat has high probability of laying his hands on my used garments, considering the fact that I have sold out any thing that can be distantly called as a paper last week at the rate of Rs.6 per k/g, and believe me I am almost as rich as Ambani brothers after the old paper deal. But I promised you that I will be talking about washing clothes, so let me do.

Washing clothes is something which I love, I love it as much as I love to be bitten by a rabies dog, or kicked by an average donkey. However, I managed to avoid washing clothes for first 18 years of my life. Thanks to Suramma, our maid during most of my child hood and a BPL washing machine which deprived her of the most favorite job. Whatsoever the reason, I never thought or even bothered to think about the efforts to be put into undoing the dirtying of clothes the act which I guess I am pretty good at and I never would have bothered to think about washing clothes unless otherwise it is as easy as pressing Ctrl + Z.

But, the world wide web, IT industry and my company had other ideas for me. Though I have been deceived by a jumbo size launder mat, where some weird looking machines just keep washing clothes for eternity, making you feel that you need not even think about the word wash for next 100 years, reality dawned upon me when the honey moon period with my company, what they call training has been completed. Since then, there are many things that have changed like my location, my managers, etc but something that stayed with me always is the pile of dirty clothes on my chair, which of late my room mates are using as a cushion sofa, they claim that it is pretty comfortable.

At this, juncture of the article, all those Dravid bhakts who were hurt by my Tit for Tat post might think, ah you dumbo, why dont you employ a bai or why dont you buy a washing machine. They might also claim that I am wasting their time by writing articles here, the logic behind which my weak brain is yet to understand. But the good news is that, I have tried the above options.

Bai: Many a Bai, have been employed to wash clothes for exorbitant to extra exorbitant amounts, but only to quit the job before even joining as they got frustrated knocking at a door behind which only TV and chairs stay during the weekends, our land lord is strict, he says that no human being shall habitate the flat during weekends. And hence yours truly raids the friends' flats.
Dhobi: There was a time when everything I used to wear goes to a dhobi for rejuvenation, but after I saw the cleanliness of the water body associated with washing the cloths and after my misplaced 10 pairs took me around 2 months and hell lot of effort, like befriending whole dhobi community, to locate, I had given up on the concept of dhobi.
Washing Machine: Me buying a washing machine would be a bigger joke than Anil Kumble delivering a spin delivery. Considering the fact that I have recently been abused by my savings bank account (abuses have been with held for readability) for molesting it, even the very thought of buying a Washing Machine sends shivers through my spine.

I also have tried different other ways where I used to take all my clothes to my friend's washing machine, but after one such saga where my 50 odd pairs almost emptied the water tank of the building and my clothes decorated almost whole of his balcony, my friend started suspecting if I have started a side business and even enquired me if I was in urgent need of money and he still asks me how much do I charge for washing clothes.

Having said that, the fact remains that washing is a herculean task for me. I would work out and develop a Hrithik like physique, or would learn to code in Java or learn Mainframes or even try my hands at learning marathi, gujarathi or would even stay in a remote town in East Africa, but washing clothes?